Haiku Beanie

Sneaky little baby girl,
You wake up at five.
that's killing me every time...

She wakes up. Silently. And if she doesn't slide off the bed to pad through the house, she is pulling up my shirt squeaking "eh eh eh" until I wake up enough to give over my nunu or she figures it out herself and latches on. Once, through my PJs. Weird wet spot in the morning. She wanders in the darkness and doesn't cry out. Sometimes Daddy finds her and plugs her with a bottle. Is she hungry? Is she having growth spurt pains? It's pretty regular, like night hormones are. My theory is a jolt of growth hormone.

Tried to buy a slide at Toys R Us. Had the roughest time. All I want: a toddler slide for indoors that folds in half and can be stored in a freaking closet. Something she can climb, but not too high that if she wipes out it's a trip to the ER. Man. What the hell is wrong with Toys R Us? They are lame as lame can be. I got the most ridiculously bad customer service, I can't begin to describe it. I am going to try to find it at Target today.

And I just want a slide so that I can guarantee exercise for the kid, especially when it's too wet outside to go for walks. Part of me says "we oughtta start trying for another one in March" and the other part of me says "Why hurry? we have enough on our plate..." A baby right now? Would put me in an insane asylum. But I miss being prego. I miss my round little belly with the little pops and starts, punches and hiccups happening in secret. I don't miss the hip pain or the pubic shear or the sleepless nights when it was too hot for me to even sweat, but I miss everything up to that point. Sigh. Another little baby butt to pinch and pat, a tum to kiss on, a neck to snuggle... So, maybe we will try again? Beans is still pretty cute...we could wait awhile.

I go to Korea for 2 weeks again on Sunday. Part of me? Looking forward to it for various reasons. Like the one that says "if you go to sleep, you can stay asleep." Except that I woke up at 5 AM expecting to nurse a kid last time I was there. Every morning. Another reason says "2 weeks? WEANIE BEANIE!" Wean that little sucker. By force. Another reason? I will earn 4 days off by giving up some weekend action. And it's not like it's hard to be in Korea: last time, I walked all over, ate lightly and lost 3 lbs that I managed to keep off. So far total weight loss since July trip: 5 lbs and counting. It's very hard.

But it will be another 6 lbs off if I play it right.

So, there are tons of reasons to go.

And of course, the best reasons in the world not to go: PF and Beanie boo.

However, I know that she's in good hands and that he will survive without me. It's me who will be hurting for them...

But I'll drown my sorrows in sightseeing and good cognac and Bibimbap.

After my Korea trip, I head to the Brazilian consulate for a visa. I will be heading an orientation trip down there, and doing presentations.

Another week away from my beanie. I would actually love to take her with me. And the PF. I'd drag him too. I'd figure out a long-term stay with a trusted friend for Seamas and the "cTats!" and loan out my frogs to a preschool or something.

I am trying to score a year abroad for me and my familia. Won't happen for awhile, but wouldn't that be awesome? We could all live for cheap in Brazil. Serious cheap. And it wouldn't be awkward, like it might be in Uber Whitey Eastern Europe, the other countries we work with are quite racially homogenous. I'd be fine. PF? Would get killed in Eastern Europe. I keep having scary dreams of him being snapped in half by a freakishly large, stupid, drunken Ukrainian. So, we will avoid. But Brazil?

It's quite common to find kids named Joao-Carlos Fukukawa Chong Bastille Marone Moreira. And he might be dating a kid named Mitsuo "Mitzie" Smith Shigekaga Perreira Haagen Beck. You just never know. They have the longest names in the world, those Brazilian kids. Beanie, whose name is Elspeth Lorelei, would be an outlier merely from the fact that her name is so short.

I would probably be very happy in Brazil. For awhile.

Beans, I will be home before Halloween. I promise you, my little Treat.