I'm in Chile. I got in yesterday afternoon from Rio De Janeiro. I'm a regular jet setter these days.

Except EVERY FUCKING COMPANY we work with set us up in crappy hotels. I find it fishy when every single office regretfully informs me their "best" hotels in town are "full". Um, EVERY CITY? I went to Curitiba. We were supposed to stay in the Blue Tree (5 stars). We got sent to the Sheraton (my sheets were dirty with chocolate I am hoping.) Black Eyed Peas were there. My client rode down in an elevator with Fergie, so her opinion of the place is biased towards positive. Good for me, but I'd still like better places. Then we had a 5 hour layover to Belo Horizonte. We got there at 4 AM in the rain. I was exhausted. The hotel tried to make me pay in advance. ??? I yelled at the man behind the counter. I probably got the shittiest room ever because of it. I woke up 3 hours later to get to my presentation, and they wouldn't let me leave without paying, so I paid 85 bucks to take a nap. I didn't check the bed, but the bathroom sucked. In Rio, we were also delayed, but I emailed the office in advance to check our arrival. More rain, we got to our hotel. It was NOT the Sheraton. We stayed as some place in Ipanema. Cool beach, beautiful surf. Food was great in Rio. But I lost (and found) my passport and had sand in my bed (not from me! I was so freaked out about the dirty sheets I couldn't sleep, had itchy skin, and when I tried to take a shower, the water was cold :o( but other than that, I loved Rio.)

Then I came to Chile. Chile has shitty food. Literally. They eat a lot of blood sausage and intestines. They eat fucking COW'S UDDER! Yes. I took a bite thinking they meant chicken breast. Sick.

I miss mi nina. I miss mi bebe so much. It hurts. I cry a little every time I take out a picture. She's on my desktop. With my dog. Who I miss every time I see a street doggy scrounging in the trash for some food.



I miss my sweetest PF too. I miss him so much, I can taste it. My throat hurts when people ask me if I'm married, because we aren't, but we are as good as. I call him Mi Esposo because nobody here understands "partner". In fact, my first hotel room in Chile was two broken down twin beds. Because the guy who made my arrangements apparently made me sound like his mistress, so they gave me a room with two twins just to make a point. Called a "Brother Sister" room. Shitty.

He fixed it when he saw it, I got a big queen bed. I was so tired, I didn't care. But I do mind being thought a whore. Fuck that. Jerkasses. Get some global awareness why don'tcha. I do not want to be your model for change, but USE ME IF I'M HERE. Business. Woman. Apprendes.

But I kinda hate Chile. Pablo and Isabelle, you chicos are CRAZY muthas. This place sucks buttholes. I did, however, get an awesome mani/pedi, massage, and a cool-ish Mrs. Brady haircut for under 80 bucks. I started humming the brady bunch theme, but it was lost on my hairdresser, an ultracool gay Chilean with fake eyelashes. I shit you not.

I'm hoping Peru is better all around. I need a SUPERB hotel room, and I need some seriously delicious food that rivals what I had in Curitiba, Belo and Rio.

I seriously wish my baby was here. Oh mia chiquita, jo te saudade mas...