My lovely office coworkers are going to starbucks to save me from my insanity. I was desperate for coffee, too. The machine upstairs is broken and I'm sipping a nescafe instant cup of coffee. Horrible. I'm powering through. Ahhhh, blessed May and her cup o'java with cream.

My daughter was so adorable last night it killed me. She's taken to climbing on our "big person" chair by the xmas tree (note to self: hurry and get storage for the ornaments so you can take them down and chuck the tree.) She tries so hard to swing a leg up, and then cries when she can't, so I put a pillow down and she can get up and down by herself. She just sits there and grins like she's a big ol' person who can relax in the chair. She doesn't do anything, she just sits and surveys. Like a grinning, contented queen. Like a cat who ate a bird and didn't get caught.

The other thing she started doing was gently bouncing on the couch. It's a couch our friend Alisha gave us, it's totally kid friendly and bounceable. Our daughter gets such a kick out of the bouncing part. I almost can't wait until she discovers actual "Jumping On The Couch", although part of me dreads the idea of split lips and more eyebrow bruises.

She's using more words now. I swear she was saying "Joyous" the other day in Oakland, as my friend's daughter is named Joyous. She also says "cook!" for "cookie". My daughter still uses "yes" all the time. The appropriate affirmative has been around for 3 full months. "do you want a cookie, beanie?" "Cook? yeshhh!" "can you hold Seamas's leash?" "YESSSH!!! YESH YESH YESH!"
Another new one that is funny as hell is the "uh oh!" I may have said it 3X since she's been toddling and will take food off on a toddly little run, said food often drops. "Uh oh!" If I hear "uh oh" in another room, I run to see what happened. She's usually opening drawers and/or trying to put a CD in the CD player.

I do not know what is normal. Sometimes I secretly think my kid is advanced, other times I think she's normal. Is it normal for a kid to understand pretty complex sentences? Is it normal for a kid at 16 months to engage with other kids in play? Is it normal for a kid her age to pretend to make and eat pretend food? With soundbites? I have no idea. I realized I don't hang out with a lot of little kids. Beanie recently had a playdate with a 4 year old boy. He came in, went to every toy in her house, played with it, and ignored her. The whole time, she was apparently trying to pat him, hug him, and show him things she liked. She brought him snacks. She worked REALLY hard to engage this kid. I don't know if that is normal, or if the 4 year old playing in his own boy world was normal. I do know that my daughter loves sparkly things, and totally got into the play dress up game and climbed up to push buttons on the computer at my friend's house (she can find any power on/off button, and can reset your VCR so fast you never know what happened, or how to get the new display to exit on the TV/Computer/whatever.) She has the most incredible sense of humor. I planned that, it's the one thing I said I cared about when I was pregnant and everyone said "your kid will be so cute." She's cute, but she's hysterical. The things she finds funny are really funny. Farting and fart noises, for example. Ducks walking. Daddy's nose hairs. Pushing buttons.

My daughter has finally discovered "dancing". She's always been a singer/hummer of tunes I do not know, but the dance has been very slow to arrive. The dance is circular spotting, where she will whip her head around last. It's very gentle movements, shoulders first and head and neck last. I remarked to the PF that Beanie looked like a teeny Martha Graham. He asked "who is Martha Graham again?" She swaggers in her dances, and then takes off tripping across the room like a slow rocket launcher just sent her out into space warily.

My daughter is rarely unhappy. When she is, it can go for hours, but the joy of her every day? Makes it all worth it. She apparently had a horrible tantrum on Friday night, our poor friend didn't call us, she tried to work it out on her own. What a trooper! The tantrums are not happening during the day, but there is definite fussing at night. Which means I still offer her a breast to calm her down. Which means I'm still not on lipitor and metformin. Which also means I am not ovulating.

Which means no more babies yet. Which is fine, since I'm pretty thrilled with the way that Beanie is turning out. This parenting adventure is a lot of fun, and full of really amazing discoveries daily. I never knew how much joy there was in being a kid when I was a kid, because I was living it. Now I live vicariously through Beanie's discoveries. I worry that I will try to push her in a direction when she's older, I already find myself urging her to use musical instruments that may be too old for her. I really enjoy being a mommy, though I don't know if I could do it full time anymore, as I really like work and coming home to a squealing little bean of joy who is always happy to see me. She's amazing. How did we get so lucky?